An Unexpected Way to Go...

Judges Week Extra! Thanks to the Rev. Andrew Parnell for the challenge. Just guessing I took a left turn from where you expected me to go...


Judges 3:15-23

But when the Israelites cried out to the Lord, the Lord raised up for them a deliverer, Ehud son of Gera, the Benjaminite, a left-handed man. The Israelites sent tribute by him to King Eglon of Moab. Ehud made for himself a sword with two edges, a cubit in length; and he fastened it on his right thigh under his clothes. Then he presented the tribute to King Eglon of Moab. Now Eglon was a very fat man. When Ehud had finished presenting the tribute, he sent the people who carried the tribute on their way. But he himself turned back at the sculptured stones near Gilgal, and said, “I have a secret message for you, O king.” So the king said, “Silence!” and all his attendants went out from his presence. Ehud came to him, while he was sitting alone in his cool roof chamber, and said, “I have a message from God for you.” So he rose from his seat. Then Ehud reached with his left hand, took the sword from his right thigh, and thrust it into Eglon’s belly; the hilt also went in after the blade, and the fat closed over the blade, for he did not draw the sword out of his belly; and the dirt came out. Then Ehud went out into the vestibule, and closed the doors of the roof chamber on him, and locked them.

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A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby

"A Little Less Conversation" by Billy Strange and Mac Davis recorded by Elvis Presley for the film "Live a Little, Love a Little." This is the JXL Remix for the "ELV1S" compilation.

This is the trend of the time of the Judges, the Lord provides the people a good Judge and all is well. The good Judge dies and is replaced by a bad Judge who does evil in the eyes of the Lord and the people follow. Tragedy befalls the people and they pray for deliverance. The Lord provides the people a good Judge... wash, rinse, repeat.

The people did bad and evil has arisen in the land, this time evil's name is King Eglon of Moab who was over Israel for eighteen years. Eglon had taken tribute, Israel's future for his own treasury. The people had finally had enough. The Lord sent Ehud to save his people.

Looking at Judges' description of Ehud, he is anything but typical. To begin with, he was a Benjaminite, the smallest of all of the tribes. We learn he is left-handed. Scripture doesn't say being left-handed is evil or sinful, but it is always beneficial to be on the right hand of anything scriptural. Statistics say between two and three in twenty people are left-handed, so Ehud being a lefty is at least unexpected. As for the cubit long sword strapped to the inside of the right thigh, that's appropriate only for a left-handed swordsman.

The most unexpected bit of all comes at the end of this reading when Ehud takes his sword, all 18" of it, hilt and all, and sends it through Eglon's bowel. Not into but through.

One of the joys of Biblical Hebrew is that idioms get lost in the translation. For example, "stabbed until dirt came out" meant King Eglon had a royal BM upon being lanced. His "roof chamber" held a chamber pot. Ehud stabbed Eglon while he was enjoying the pleasures of his rooftop outhouse after accepting his plunder. Then he gets stabbed with such vigor that the sword, point to pommel is lodged in his lodgings, spilling not only what was in his bowels but his bowels into the pot beneath him.

All in all, quite an unexpected way to go, but after a week of readings from Judges, we can hardly expect anything different. I suspect they said the same thing about Elvis, who also expired if not in a similar manner, in a similar location.

A little less conversation, a little more action please. Ehud had a message from God for Eglon. It was the last thing Eglon expected. Meet your maker? Maybe something a little less subtle.

Yet, with all of these unexpected things happening, what was expected did happen, the nation was saved. Again, what was least expected was actually what should have been expected. That is the way of God, the mysterious way of God, and honestly, times like these we could stand to do what the King of Rock and Roll commands, "Close your mouth and open up your heart." That will satisfy the King of kings.