What Friends Are For?

Job 2: 11-13

Now when Job’s three friends heard of all these troubles that had come upon him, each of them set out from his home--Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They met together to go and console and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him, and they raised their voices and wept aloud; they tore their robes and threw dust in the air upon their heads. They sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.

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It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming 'Let me out'

"Under Pressure" by Queen with David Bowie

Friends are a joy. Job has just lost everything. His wife was the opposite of help saying "Do you still persist in your integrity? Curse God and die." I put the emphasis on "still" because I can imagine her saying it that way. I can't decide whether she wants him to curse God to put him out of his misery or her own. Maybe that's a two-birds-with-one-stone deal.

But his friends hear of his plight and they come to see him, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They have come to grieve with their friend. They came to console and comfort him. They could see him from a distance, or they saw where his house was. They couldn't recognize him. All that their friend was is gone, all that remains is the shell of the man. They knew his suffering was great, so they did as friends would. They tore their robes and covered themselves with dust from the scalp down. They could tell his suffering was so great didn't say a word for a week ...if they had just left it at that.

Suddenly everyone tried to explain what had happened. They tried to explain the tragedy. They tried to put this great calamity into perspective. They failed miserably. They failed so miserably ultimately the Lord, the Voice from the whirlwind would tell them to be quiet. If they had just kept going while they were ahead.

They saw the terror of their friends grief, they could see him screaming "Let me out." They were simply present for a week and that was good. Nobody said try to make him feel better. Nobody said try to explain it away. Nobody told them to say a word, but alas the quiet ended and the remaining forty chapters of the book of Job unfolded, often with anger, rarely with compassion.

There is something to be said for just being present when a friend is in pain. More often than not, just listening to the screams and holding them in the pain and sorrow is what is needed.