Angry at God

Exodus 34:6 (NRSV)

The LORD passed before him, and proclaimed,
“The LORD, the LORD,
a God merciful and gracious,
slow to anger,
and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness"

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I told the priest, Don't count on any second coming
God got his ass kicked the first time he came down here slumming
He had the balls to come, the gall to die and then forgive us
No, I don't wonder why, I wonder what he thought they'd get us
Hey, hey, good bye
Tomorrow Wendy's going to die

Tomorrow Wendy, Andy Prieboy

The video clip ends with this: "In the last four minutes, one more person has been infected with aids." I heard this song for the first time in the early 1990's. I don't know when this version was recorded or when that coda was added. One thing we do know is that people aren't "infected with aids," they are infected with HIV.

If there's one thing rock and roll has always been good at, it's anger. Andy Prieboy wrote this song about a friend named Wendy who was going to die, and die from AIDS. Wendy's death was all ready slow, and painful, and uncertain. In the early 90's AIDS was our leprosy. Wendy was cast away as unclean and Andy was angry. Rock and roll does angry very well.

We all have experience with anger, both giving and receiving. I can't imagine anyone not having been angry with God either. But it takes a special kind of daring to be so angry with God, so angry with impotence against this killer, so angry that intervention hasn't come despite prayers and works, so angry with God that we declare his ass kicked.

He had the balls to come, the gall to die and then forgive us-anger rings from these words. The singer sees God not only as impotent, but sees God as less than divine-and less than human. This anger has led to a fatigue, a fatigue that makes it so the singer doesn't even wonder why. This is truth. This was the '90's version of the '60's cry of "God is dead."

I just wonder what he thought it would get us? There is the old Bonhoeffer story of the two prisoners hung in the concentration camp. The guard asks Bonhoeffer "where is your God now?" His reply is that God is hanging right beside the two. Isn't that the way it has always been, God is hanging between the others who are set to be executed.

But even when we are angry-raging against God, the Lord is "abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness." Even when we are outcast by society, the Lord remains with us as the outcast. God's love does not overpower us, it builds us. And God is big enough to take the anger those God loves. God is confident of who God is and who we are.

We might wonder what it will get us, the answer God gives is new life in the face of certain death...whether death is pending or long off. New life is the promise and the gift we are to share, especially with Wendy.