Forgiveness

Don Henley singing "The Heart of the Matter"

Genesis 33:1-4

Now Jacob looked up and saw Esau coming, and four hundred men with him. So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two maids. He put the maids with their children in front, then Leah with her children, and Rachel and Joseph last of all. He himself went on ahead of them, bowing himself to the ground seven times, until he came near his brother.

But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.

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There are people in your life
Who've come and gone
They let you down
You know they hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you, baby
'Cause life goes on
If you keep carrying that anger
It'll eat you up inside, baby

I've been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness, forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me

"The Heart of the Matter" recorded by Don Henley, written by J.D. Souther, Don Henley, and Mike Campbell from Henley's "The End of the Innocence" published by Cass County Music, Wild Gator Music, and Ice Age Music.

There's an old saying: holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping the other person gets sick and dies. The truth in the saying that you forgive not to benefit the other person, but yourself. Of course it's easier said than done.

Jacob means "ankle grabber" which is how he left the womb hot on his Esau's heels. It has also been translated "usurper." As such, Jacob made a living taking from Esau. He took Esau's birthright for a bowl of stew and, with his mother's help, conned their father's blessing from him. So if anybody had cause to hold a grudge it's Esau. 

As Don Henley sings, 

There are people in your life
Who've come and gone
They let you down
You know they hurt your pride

Esau was hurt, and he was probably angry for a good long time. 

Jacob is so afraid of Esau's anger at this meeting he splits his family. Half stand behind so if Esau kills the maids and their children, this later group, especially his favorite wife and son, Rachel and Joseph, will be able to get away. Jacob bows and scrapes. Yet Esau comes and greets his brother with a kiss. In the years that have passed Esau has forgiven his little brother's transgressions, his trespasses, his debts. 

Nobody said it was easy for Esau to find forgiveness. Nobody said it didn't take a long time, but ultimately they meet not at the point of sword and spear, but with a kiss.

Jacob hurt Esau. He hurt his pride, he took his place in the family. Jacob took the place their earthly father etched out for Esau. He was a victim of a bad deal that cost him his birthright and an elaborate ruse which cost him his father's blessing. Esau could have let this eat him from the inside out, but based on this description from Genesis he is exhibiting another modern expression: "Living well is the best revenge."

People hurt us, it's the nature of life. It's the nature of sin. But if we can manage forgiveness, we will be better off. 

Again in Henley's words:

You better put it all behind you, baby
'Cause' life goes on
If you keep carrying that anger
It'll eat you up inside, baby

That my friends is the heart of the mater. Even when the will gets weak, forgiveness, shown to us by the singer, modeled for us in Esau, and shared with us in Jesus; forgiveness brings us closer to God and closer to eternal life.