Forgiveness

Don Henley singing "The Heart of the Matter"

Genesis 33:1-4

Now Jacob looked up and saw Esau coming, and four hundred men with him. So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two maids. He put the maids with their children in front, then Leah with her children, and Rachel and Joseph last of all. He himself went on ahead of them, bowing himself to the ground seven times, until he came near his brother.

But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.

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There are people in your life
Who've come and gone
They let you down
You know they hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you, baby
'Cause' life goes on
If you keep carrying that anger
It'll eat you up inside, baby

I've been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness, forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me

"The Heart of the Matter" recorded by Don Henley written by J.D. Souther, Don Henley, and Mike Campbell from Henley's "The End of the Innocence" published by Cass County Music, Wild Gator Music, and Ice Age Music.

There's an old saying that goes like this: holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping the other person gets sick and dies. The truth in the saying that you forgive not to benefit the other person, but for yourself. Of course it's easier said than done.

Jacob made a living taking from Esau. He took Esau's birthright for a bowl of stew and, with his mother's help, conned their father's blessing from him. So if anybody had a cause to hold a grudge it's Esau. And he probably did. As Don Henley sang, 

There are people in your life
Who've come and gone
They let you down
You know they hurt your pride

Esau was hurt, and he probably held a grudge for a good long time. 

Jacob means "ankle grabber" which is how he left the womb hot on his Esau's heels. It has also been translated usurper. While scripture focuses on Jacob and his time with his father in law Laban it is silent about Esau. By the way, Laban also thinks Jacob is usurping everything within arm's reach while becoming a great nation.  It was said Esau too will father a nation and it appears this prophecy is coming true. 

The time ultimately comes when the brothers meet again. Little brother waits in fear. Seeing Esau coming with 400 men, that only makes sense. Jacob is so afraid of this meeting he splits his family in two as they stand before Esau. Half stand behind so if Esau kills the maids and their children, this later group, especially his favorite wife and son, Rachel and Joseph, will be able to get away. Jacob bows and scrapes. Yet Esau comes and greets his brother with a kiss. It seems that Esau has forgiven his little brother's transgressions, his trespasses, his debts. 

Nobody said it was easy. Nobody said it wasn't a long time coming, but ultimately they meet not at the point of sword and spear, but with a kiss.

Jacob hurt Esau. He hurt his pride, he took his place in the family. Jacob took the place their earthly father etched out for Esau. He was a victim of an elaborate ruse which cost him his father's blessing. Esau could have let this eat him from the inside out, but based on this description from Genesis he is living another modern expression: "Living well is the best revenge."

People hurt us, it's the nature of life. It's the nature of sin. But if we can manage forgiveness, we will be better off. Again in Henley's words:

You better put it all behind you, baby
'Cause' life goes on
If you keep carrying that anger
It'll eat you up inside, baby

That my friends is the heart of the mater. Even when the will gets weak, forgiveness, modeled for us in Jesus, and like in this case Esau, brings us closer to God and closer to eternal life.